Freaxxx
by scenegurlkikixx
Summary: Kiki Suicide Rose goes to Hogwarts School and meets her new boy. See what happens as Kiki tries to make it through her seventh year at the school. Please read, especially the last chapter.
1. Chapter 1

AN/ dis is meh first storty so plz be nice. thank you for reedin dis! Plz give me good reviewes.

Hi my name is Kiki Suicide Rose. i have layered black hair that I tease everyday to make it rlly and big. I wer tonz fo makeup around my eyes and stuff wit tons of eyeliner and tos of balck eyeshadow. I'm a scene gurl nd I dont care what ppl think. Ususlly I wear skinny jeans and a shurtt with gir or helloo kitty on it with some high heels or sosemrhting. But today I was wearing some skinny jeans with hello kitty on ti with some flatz. I had some hair extensisons in my hair to make da kewl tails and stuff. i herd a voice frum behind me and quickly wanted to look to look and see who it was. I looked at my myspace before I left to go to the train. The train I wanted to take would be taking me to mi new skewl! I felt so damn fierce so I went to go out the door and find some posers (AN/ I hate dos posers! Dey just wanna be like tha reel sceeeeennnnzzzzz ;3) nd haterzzz to tell off.

"Hey, Kiki!" said a voice from behind me.

I turned to see who it was. It was just my freidn Lacey and she was running up to me as I was about to get on the train. I smiled in her direction and waved back, "Hay, bitch!1!!" I called back.

Lacey and I sat down on the train and we soon made it to Hogwartz skewl of Witchcradft and Widary. When we got off I nearly fainted at the sight of the hottest boi evafr!

Draco Maldfopy flipped is smexay bleach-blond hair as he glared at all the ugly gurlzz tht got off the train. Once he looked at me it looked like he immediatwely fell in love wi th me.

I blushed and Lacey giggled, "OMG he's totally lookin at you!" she cried.

"O)MG no he isn't!" I cried back.

Draco ran away.

AN/ I hope you gaiz leik it! =D Plz review! Thankiesss~


	2. a new luv!

AN/ Thankiess 2 toasty greer for da god reviews! I luv u girl (not leik dat lol). PLZ GIVE ME GOOD REVIWWSSS. Dis iz mah frist story and I'm trying mah best to writ dis!

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I felt sad when Draco ran away.

I went up to my room and got dressed. I put on a whit shirt with gir on it and some purple skinny jeans. I added some coon-tail hair extensions to my bug scene hair and hair sprayed it so it would stay fierce. Afte ri got ready I put on some more eyeliner and masxcara and stuff and walked out.

Lacey waved at me and giggled, "Hey, bitch you look so fierce!" she giggled.

I snarled at her and was like, "you too gurl! Lets go to sum classes now!" I said and we walked to potions.

When we got in der we sat down in the front and took out our advanced potions books.

Snape walked in to the front of the room wid his cloack biloowing behind him. When he turned around his face was all cold and emotionless as usual until he looked at me. When he looked at me he hd this weird pedoy smile on his face as he taught da class.

At da end opf class he dismissed everyone…except for me! He called me over to his desk and I walked over. When I got close enough he started to make out with me omg!

"OMG WTF!" I shouted, slapping him as I ran away.

Latur, in da Hogwarts Skewl or Witchcfraft and Wizardry, I walked into the slitherin common room and summin happened!

Draco walked in. he was wearing a balck shurt wid Brokencyde on it and some black and whit plaid skinny jeans. His hair had been teased and he look all hot and emoo and stuff espeshully with all the black eyeliner he wux wering.

I gasped, "Oh my fucking Godddd! What are you doing here draco?" I deamanded since he wasn't allowed in the girls room.

"Kiki, I luv u so much so I wanted to be so fierce leik u!" he cried.

I was so flattered! "u donot ned to scene to make me like u!" I said.

Draco smirk, "but I want to!" he incested. Den he kissed me on the lips!

It was then dat we fell in LOVE!

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AN/ Sorry dis chaptah was so short! Im hoping to make the next one a bit longer. I hope I git sum good reviews! Thankies to all mah reeders!


	3. challenger and a twist!

AN/ STOP FLAMMINGING MAH STORTY! I'm written dis as best as I can! Itz nut mah folt if I didn't reeed da bookzz! I am gunna get a betareader soon but I duno how. Wud sum 1 leik to edut mah story? Lev a coment if u want to help meh! Thankiesss 2 all da nice repliurz!

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Draco nd I held handz as we kissed and wlaked out of da comon room in luvv! Everyone looked at us but we didn't care nd we just kept walkin throo da hallz. Dumbldeor walked up to us on his bromj stik and wuz leik, "stop dat u foolz!" he cried.

I jusy stuck up mah middle finiger at himas me and draco went to class. It was time fcor defense aginst da dark arts.

Harry wlaked up to me all shyly and stuff, "hey, kiki, wud u like to go out wid me?" he asked shyily. Dat day he wuz werin his Gryffindor robes but he was wering a tokio hotel shirt and sum skinny jeans wit sum vanzzz. His hair wusn't teased but he still looked hot anyway lol.

I gasped!

Draco den put his arm around me all protectively and glured, "back off shez mah gerulfreend!" he snarled are fiercely and stuff.

Harry walked away and sat down in his seet all sad and den class started.

"draco wtf!" ishooted.

Draco looked taken ablack, "what did I doo?" he asked.

I huffed all huffily, "nvm jus stop beein such a doosh fag!"

I sat DOWN!

Gilderdoy lockhart started techin da class and I wrote notes all angrily. He den took of his wand and did sum stuff and people gasped. I already new how to do it so I didnt care.

….suddenly! harry stood up and begun sining a song. Everyun stared at him ubtil he wuz done, "kiki I luc uuuu! Plzzz will u go out wit me?!" he questioned.

"omg faggot!" I cried slappin him in da face lol.

When class wuz over with I decided to go out to………..DA FORBBID FOREST OMFG.

I started to cry becuz EVERYONE LUVED ME. It made me so mad that one gurl cud be so fierce and had everyone love her! Suddenly someone begun to approach me!

"HOLY SHIT WTF!" I shouted throwing a spel at voldemort. "omg it's voldemort!" I gasped, seeing who da gay wuz.

"kiki cum closer!" he shrieked under mah spell.

I CAME!

Den suddenly….VOldeMORT RAEPED MEH!

"omg noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I cried as I cried, but he wuz too strog!

He did sum dirty stuf and den floo away on his bromstick.

I startled to cry because he did suc a horrible ting! I rn to Hogwarts to get DYMLEBOR!

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AN/ see? I made dis one loger! Plz sum one hlep me writ dis! Im getting su tired of all dos meen people bein all meen about mah story! Thankiessss!


	4. Kiki Suicide Rose's Final Bow

AN/ Well, here is the answer to some of the questions of my "reviewers". The most popular thing that was inquired was, "Is this a joke?" or something along that line. As you can see by the drastically improved spelling and grammar that this was, indeed, a joke. The main reason I did this is because I saw how infamous the author of "My Immortal" became just because of her abuse of the English language and her poor plot structure. I thought to myself, "I wonder if I could do that." So, as you can see, I gave it a try and, in my opinion, I think I did a pretty good job of making 'Kiki' believable. However, after day three of 'Kiki's Reign', I realized that I had too much self-respect to continue this idiodic cherade. So, I'm going to end it and, hopefully, in a humorous manner. I apologise for pissing anyone off or inducing them to vomit over my horrid excuse for a fan fiction/ amusing joke. So, without further adoue, here is Kiki Suicide Rose's final bow.

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Kiki Suicide Rose had finally found Dumbledore. Her eyes welled up with tears as she uttered a desperate cry, "Dymbledeor! Plz hlep meh!" she begged; her left arm outstretched as her right hand clenched a bundle of her shirt.

Dumbledore turned around to face her with a single brow raised, "And who are you, Miss?" he questioned with a slightly confused tone.

Kiki whimpered, "Mah nayme ix kiki suicide rooose. Plz I neeed sum heeeelppp!" she cried, her voice becoming more desperate. However, seeing as she had the IQ of a newborn infant, she was not able to comprehend the situation she was in.

Dumbledore shook his head slightly, "What? Miss, I can not understand a single word you are saying," He replied, feeling sorry for the hardly-competent young girl.

Suddenly, for the sake of convience, Draco walked by the two. He was wearing his normal Slytherin robes and his hair had been changed back to the proper hairstyle.

Kiki ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him as she sobbed like a small child, "Draco! He duznt no hu i am! He cnnt understand wat I'm sayin eedur! PLZ help mah!" she cried, repeating herself because she had been programmed to be totally unoriginal.

Draco's lip pulled back slightly into a disgusted snarl, "What the bloody hell are you doing?! Get off of me!" he growled, shoving the helpless girl away.

"But ur mah BOIFREEENDDD!" she insisted; her tears now smudging her excessive eye makeup, causing her cheeks to turn a light shade of black.

Draco took a step back, "I don't know who you are and why you have deluded yourself into thinking I'm your boyfriend, but stay away from me," he snapped, turning on his heel to walk away.

Kiki just stod there, throughly confused, "dis duz not make ne senssse!" she shouted to the sky.

Suddenly, someone came up behind her and held out their wand.

Kiki turned around and uttered her final words, "LOL WTF R U DOIN LOL?"

Then the world went black and Kiki Suicide Rose disinigrated into the air and was carried away with a light gust of wind.

After her death, no one cared and everyone went on with their merry lives. The End. Yay.

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AN/ Hmph, that didn't turn out as funny as I had wanted it to. Oh well, at least it ended the way it started; no plot-line at all whatsoever. xD Really, I got lazy at the end and decided this wasn't really worth any effort; so that's why it ended so randomly. I don't expect reviews for this. Maybe a few people saying, "Oh, thank God that this was a joke!" but, again, nothing really. Well, have a nice life. xD


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